We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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