I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
