If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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