"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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