she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
