I like to think it a success when the cops are called
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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