I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize