Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
