she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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