I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
