Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
