Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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