You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
