Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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