so that wasnt chicken after all
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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