4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
