drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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