yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
