I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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