Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
