She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
