Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
