i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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