I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
its not stalking. its research.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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