Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
