yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
