i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
