It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
