I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I love having hate sex.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
