dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Do vagina's smell?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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