WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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