I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
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He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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