she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
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