she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
