batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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