I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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