a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
