He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
