Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
True college students do jello shots in the library
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