UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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