I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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