u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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