At least make sure they are 18
Why
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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