i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
