We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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