Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
