If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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