Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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