All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
