Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
