drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
