when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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