Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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