i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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