3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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