the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
