She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
