i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
