Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
