I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
