I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
do herpes really smell.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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