Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
