Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Randomize