why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
